Melisa's Life

I wasn't going to blog about this, but for some reason, I feel like I should. Most of you know my cousin, Lariann passed away from brain cancer. Us cousins were so close growing up, most of us still are. We saw each other weekly at Grandma & Grandpa Pages. Lari, Rachel and John used to stay at our house when their parent went out of town. We had tumbling together and went to the same schools from 6th grade up. I got a call the Monday after Lari passed away asking me if I would feel comfortable doing Lari's hair for the funeral. I was in shock at first, but after thinking about it for a minute, I said yes. It seemed to make sense to me. I did her hair for every other important occasion in her life, why not this one?
The day finally came, and I have to admit, I didn't sleep much that night. I had to work that day, so I did this on my lunch break. When I got there, I was shaking SO bad. I started to get nervous that I was going to drop the curling iron and start something on fire, lol. When they were ready for me, my aunt and cousin Rachel came and got me. Rachel and I have been really close since high school. I think we should have been sisters. There were many times that I would show up at her house to pick her up and find that she was wearing the same outfit as me. Anyway, she was my life saver that day. As soon as I walked in, I calmed right down and I had this strong feeling, like "you can do this, it's still Lariann." I curled her hair to make it look like it was on her wedding day. Rachel and I cracked jokes and said things that only me, her and Lari would understand. I apologized to Lari for ripping her precious duckie when we were 12. It was so peaceful in that room, even my aunt said so. I made it through the whole thing without a single tear. It was when I got done and turned to face her when we were getting ready to leave that I started to cry. She looked so beautiful and so peaceful. You couldn't look at her and tell that she even had cancer. She looked like Lari again.
I have been struggling with this a lot more than I thought I would. I became a hermit for a week, except being with my sister and Rachel. I went to Rachel's house to comfort her and she ended up comforting me instead. It's getting better, slowly and I know that it will be ok. The funeral was last Saturday, so Saturday Night Live was on that night. One of our inside jokes during high school was from a skit from SNL. They did Jeopardy with Sean Connery and it was always so funny. It hasn't played in years, but it was on last Saturday night.
Here are some pics from the funeral. Lari's husband Scott works for the Kaysville fire department, which is why the ambulance lead the precession. The little girl in the picture is Lari's daughter. She found out about her brain tumor while she was pregnant with Lucy. She is her little miracle baby. This was definitely an experience that I will never forget. Love you Lari.